“There is no such thing as a single-issue struggle, because we do not live single-issue lives.”—Audre Lorde
Therapy can help clients discover and deconstruct the nuanced web of their own intersecting identities and how these overlaps shape stressors, risks, competing pressures, internal conflicts and lived experience. Naming and understanding our own entanglement of identities such as age, sexual orientation, gender identity, race, ethnicity, ability, class, education, occupation, spirituality, etc. is integral to understanding our own pain and power; how oppression and privilege manifest simultaneously; to reducing shame and increasing self-love.
Here are some starter questions to guide your reflections into intersecting identities:
Which identities do you believe impact you most on a day-to-day basis? Least?
How do intersecting identities impact your relationships both personally, professionally and otherwise?
In which identities do you experience privilege, oppression or a mix of both?
Which identities are you proudest of, and which are the most challenging to talk about?
Which of your identities do you wish you knew more about, and why?
Which parts of your identity feel most visible, and which feel more hidden?
Where do you feel tension between different identities?
Have you ever felt like you had to choose between parts of your identity? If so, what was that like?
What stories or messages have you received about different parts of your identity?
Where do you feel most seen and understood, and where do you feel misunderstood?
Where and with whom do you feel safe being your full self?
How do you balance safety and authenticity?
What fears come up when you think about being fully known?
Remember: Examining our own intersecting identities can help us become more comfortable and compassionate in our relationships with others. After all, “The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others.” —Erik Erikson
—Caitlyn Crawford, LCMFT